1. You never know what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. You only know what you see or what you think you see.
2. The weight is off my shoulders. I don't live in the past anymore. I look forward, instead of back.
3. I have gone to great lengths to rearrange my life and change from the inside.
4. If it never gets better than it is at this moment, if I never am more successful than I am right now, that's OK with me.
5. On the eve of my wedding, my father showed up, determined to stop it. I had tons of pills, and Dad had tons of everything too. Eventually I passed out on Dad's bed... I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father.
6. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank (law enforcement) for stopping me, and probably saving my life. (Phillips pleads guilty to coke possession)
7. I own my memories, but I still sometimes see them from afar. I’m positive, I’m happy, I’m fun, and I can be these things because I refuse to take on the full weight of my experiences. I am the missing monkey, the fourth monkey, the feel no evil monkey. I learned to box up the evil and separate it from the joy of life at an early age, before the rape, before the kidnapping, before losing Patty, before what happened with my father.
8. I saw that the relief of having me back was greater than the pain of enduring my behavior. What could be a stronger force to keep me clean?
9. Drugs manipulate these relationships.
10. It feels strange to just be alive.
11. My father damaged the people around him. He failed to see how all our lives were entwined.
12. Without forgiveness you end up in the same cage you were in when you were suffering the abuse.
13. Here I was again. Back at the bottom, caught in the arms of a bad-news lover I thought I had dumped for good.
14. I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father. I don't remember how it started or, thankfully, how it ended. … Was it the first time? Had this happened before? I didn't know and I still don't. All I can say is that it was the first time I was aware of it. For a moment I was in my body, in that horrible truth, and then I slid back into a blackout. Your father is supposed to protect you. Your father is supposed to protect you, not f*** you.
15. I started very early on in my life compartmentalizing, boxing away difficult memories. And this was the mother of all difficult experiences.
16. It was one of those things where (you think): "Don't look. Don't look." You tell yourself there's a video loop in your head of this event, this occurrence, this moment in time. I have spent the last 31 years trying not to look at it.
17. I said: "Look, we need to talk about how you raped me. And my dad said: "Raped you? Don't you mean when we made love?" And, in that moment, I thought: "Wow, I'm really on my own here".
18. We're touring, and I begin waking up after drug-fueled events with my pants around my ankles and my father sleeping beside me. Again, (I thought): "Don't think. Don't look. Just keep going." And this happened over time. It didn't happen every day. It didn't happen every week, but it certainly happened.
19. It became a consensual relationship over time, and I know that I can't be the only one this has happened to. Nobody's talking about this, and someone needs to put a face on not only nonconsensual incest but consensual incest, because I know it exists.
20. My father was not a bad man. He was kind of a testament to what drugs and alcohol - in huge quantities - can do to a person's priorities. Their motives. I don't hate him. I understand that he was a very tortured man, and he sort of passed that torture down to me.
21. I didn't have very good role models.
22. I had an abortion. And I never let (my father) touch me again.
23. I'm taking a huge personal risk telling this story, and I have to say that I loved my father. I still do…I know for a fact that I am the only daughter that this happened to, and I don't know why he chose me to visit his demons upon.
24. For some reason, (people) think: "Let's protect the abuser. Let's protect the reputation". I, on the other hand, firmly believe that if he could have done everything differently, he would have. He never set out to harm me.
25. No matter what kind of incest it is, it is an abuse of power. Whether it be consensual or otherwise, it is a betrayal of trust.
26. I think the universe shows us some sort of purpose for our lives when you think there's no hope left.
27. In the finding redemption and freedom for myself, maybe I'm going to be giving a little piece of it to somebody else to hold onto. Having this type of story, and still being here to tell the tale, tells me that I'm still here for a reason.
Feel free to comment and share this blog post if you find it interesting!
2. The weight is off my shoulders. I don't live in the past anymore. I look forward, instead of back.
3. I have gone to great lengths to rearrange my life and change from the inside.
4. If it never gets better than it is at this moment, if I never am more successful than I am right now, that's OK with me.
5. On the eve of my wedding, my father showed up, determined to stop it. I had tons of pills, and Dad had tons of everything too. Eventually I passed out on Dad's bed... I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father.
6. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank (law enforcement) for stopping me, and probably saving my life. (Phillips pleads guilty to coke possession)
7. I own my memories, but I still sometimes see them from afar. I’m positive, I’m happy, I’m fun, and I can be these things because I refuse to take on the full weight of my experiences. I am the missing monkey, the fourth monkey, the feel no evil monkey. I learned to box up the evil and separate it from the joy of life at an early age, before the rape, before the kidnapping, before losing Patty, before what happened with my father.
8. I saw that the relief of having me back was greater than the pain of enduring my behavior. What could be a stronger force to keep me clean?
9. Drugs manipulate these relationships.
10. It feels strange to just be alive.
11. My father damaged the people around him. He failed to see how all our lives were entwined.
12. Without forgiveness you end up in the same cage you were in when you were suffering the abuse.
13. Here I was again. Back at the bottom, caught in the arms of a bad-news lover I thought I had dumped for good.
14. I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father. I don't remember how it started or, thankfully, how it ended. … Was it the first time? Had this happened before? I didn't know and I still don't. All I can say is that it was the first time I was aware of it. For a moment I was in my body, in that horrible truth, and then I slid back into a blackout. Your father is supposed to protect you. Your father is supposed to protect you, not f*** you.
15. I started very early on in my life compartmentalizing, boxing away difficult memories. And this was the mother of all difficult experiences.
16. It was one of those things where (you think): "Don't look. Don't look." You tell yourself there's a video loop in your head of this event, this occurrence, this moment in time. I have spent the last 31 years trying not to look at it.
17. I said: "Look, we need to talk about how you raped me. And my dad said: "Raped you? Don't you mean when we made love?" And, in that moment, I thought: "Wow, I'm really on my own here".
18. We're touring, and I begin waking up after drug-fueled events with my pants around my ankles and my father sleeping beside me. Again, (I thought): "Don't think. Don't look. Just keep going." And this happened over time. It didn't happen every day. It didn't happen every week, but it certainly happened.
19. It became a consensual relationship over time, and I know that I can't be the only one this has happened to. Nobody's talking about this, and someone needs to put a face on not only nonconsensual incest but consensual incest, because I know it exists.
20. My father was not a bad man. He was kind of a testament to what drugs and alcohol - in huge quantities - can do to a person's priorities. Their motives. I don't hate him. I understand that he was a very tortured man, and he sort of passed that torture down to me.
21. I didn't have very good role models.
22. I had an abortion. And I never let (my father) touch me again.
23. I'm taking a huge personal risk telling this story, and I have to say that I loved my father. I still do…I know for a fact that I am the only daughter that this happened to, and I don't know why he chose me to visit his demons upon.
24. For some reason, (people) think: "Let's protect the abuser. Let's protect the reputation". I, on the other hand, firmly believe that if he could have done everything differently, he would have. He never set out to harm me.
25. No matter what kind of incest it is, it is an abuse of power. Whether it be consensual or otherwise, it is a betrayal of trust.
26. I think the universe shows us some sort of purpose for our lives when you think there's no hope left.
27. In the finding redemption and freedom for myself, maybe I'm going to be giving a little piece of it to somebody else to hold onto. Having this type of story, and still being here to tell the tale, tells me that I'm still here for a reason.
What do you think of Mackenzie Phillips quotes?